Failed Films

The following is a list of various films Randomness Productions made or tried to make or intended to make that for one reason or another were scrapped or abandoned or never released. The titles in quotes denote a title given to a previously untitled work.

“Episode .43” (Early 2000s) – The first real incarnation of Randomness Productions, a failed attempt at making a movie with the Star Wars figures of Episode .45. It was a stop-motion film and was utterly awful.

“Episode .44” (Early 2000s) – The second attempt at making a film with the .45 gang, except done without hands being visible. Randomness Productions sort of reenacted it in “Recovered Episode .44 Footage

The Little Retard 2 – Filming began on this almost directly after Dustin moved away, with the intent that it would be finished when he returned. Ultimately, it devolved into a lame lightsaber battle tournament with no plot, and the actual film with a plot was never made as Dustin did not return until Zane Von Mystery.

Notebook Nazi – A short film poking fun at a teacher some of Randomness Productions had. It was never intended to be released.

Notebook Nazi II – Same origin as Notebook Nazi I, but with different events in the movie.

Mushroom Sandwich – A film poking fun at a choir class some of Randomness Productions were in, particularly one member of said choir, who somewhat ironically went on to be featured in Twilight Abridged.

Ice Delivery Men – a parody of U.S. Army commercials and the first appearance of Cardboard Dustin’s changing face.

“Legitimate Lawyer” Ad – A parody of a lawyer’s ads on TV. It is very likely to be featured in an installment of Twilight the Abridged Saga as a  commercial, but reworked, since we originally used the lawyer’s actual name.

“Fixing the Lord of the Rings” – A mockery of an apparent controversy over calling the second Lord of the Rings book and movie “The Two Towers,” given the 9/11 attacks…which had nothing to do with the Lord of the Rings. It was essentially a retelling of the Lord of the Rings but with a exaggerated conservative spin.

Misunderstood Symbols Anonymous – Randomness Productions’ first attempt at animation. It consisted of several symbols like the yin yang, the swastika, et cetera, talking to each other about how people don’t know what they represent. We recorded the audio, but halfway through we decided it wasn’t worth it.

Cyrano de Bergerac Verbatim – An abandoned film that aimed to adapt Cyrano verbatim with lightsabers instead of swords. It may resurface as a Cyrano Abridged sort of thing.

Episode .IVV 3 – The original cut of Episode .45 III was deemed so terrible and uneditable that the whole movie was refilmed.

Macbeth…with lightsabers. ‘Nough said. Some stuff was filmed, but it was never edited or made into a trailer or anything. In fact, we may have lost the footage.

Stressing/Mangling The Importance of Being Earnest – Originally conceived as a bizarre version of The Importance of Being Earnest. It was scrapped when the first day of filming devolved into a Star Wars fanfilm. We still don’t know how.

Ultima VII: Black Gate – Conceived as an Ultima fanfilm. The first day of filming made us realize it wasn’t worth it.

“The Greatest Video on YouTube” – One hot summer day, we tried to film some of Zane Von Mystery II, but ended up filming some of a found footage genre movie of a bunch of guys going outside to make the “best YouTube video ever.” A guy jumped off a shed and then the camera man went to “clean” the lens of the camera and stopped recording so we could set up a shot of a monster jumping out from behind some bushes, but the enthusiasm wasn’t there from one of us, so we scrapped the project then and there. I’m pretty sure we deleted the footage, too.

Jenga Tournaments – An ill-conceived sports show parody, complete with an impression of John Madden making silly comments and drawing doodles. The problem was we didn’t care enough to see it through, and it was boring.

MOVEGA – Actually filmed and thought out, but once the footage was rewatched, it was decided to be crap and was never downloaded. It was to be a fully interactive YouTube adventure movie, truly dissimilar to current choose-your-own-adventure style things on YouTube. The ideas were absorbed into Saber 3.

The Host Abridged – We were very interested in doing a parody of Stephenie Meyer’s boring alien book and figured all sorts of things out for it including the opening quote, some casting, and how the characters of Melanie and Wanderer would behave. Then came time to write the script.  Forty-two pages into the book and four pages into the script it was realized that The Host is a boring, long-winded version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers told from the aliens’ perspective. We gave up on the script-writing process and scrapped the project as we couldn’t help but think “What the hell is the point?” The book deserves to be made fun of, but it’s so very dull that such a feat is difficult. The dregs of the script that was made might be filmed and released as a movie within a movie much like Romeo & Juliet Abridged Abridged, but who knows.


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